Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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