Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
