Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
