Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
