i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The power of my boobs compel you
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
