Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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