Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
