a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
