If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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