How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
