..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
