Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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