Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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