why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
