i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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