He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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