You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
