YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
