Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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