Banned from zoo.
Again?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
