At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
