return my video game
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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