What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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