Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
