3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
