I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
