what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
