Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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