there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
