I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
