I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just want nice things and good sex
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
