eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
