Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
