Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Floor bacon is actually really good
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
