i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Who died my cat blue again?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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