Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
