go do what you do best...puke behind churches
where am i from again
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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