I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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