In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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