Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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