It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
