There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
