We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
