why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
is it fun? or sober?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
