She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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