sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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