i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
