He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
