he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
