I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
